Writing to Reckon is the title of an online workshop I attended in December of 2022, hosted and created by educator, author and co-founder of the non-profit Living Cult Free. At the time, I was newly processing that I believed I had been part of a commercial cult for most of my 30s. I needed a channel for catharis and some tools to help me move through it. I also needed support with my next steps—now that I knew what I knew, what would I do about it? How would I right my wrongs, and how would I do it in a way that was respectful and compassionate to those still in? How would I use the skills and talents exploited in a “multi-level-marketing”* company to expose the thickly veiled truth (without getting sued)? This free class was a perfect step towards figuring some of these things out. I met some people who had similar stories and felt less alone. I was listened to and made to feel less crazy, as my experiences, thoughts, and emotions were quite normal for someone exiting any brand of high-control group.
It is incredible that only a year and a half after that workshop with Gerette, I would be getting on a plane to Washington, D.C., to present on behalf of commercial cult survivors. I would combine what I have since learned in my training as a soon-to-be practicing Psychotherapist (I start my Supervision this Fall!) and my personal experience in the company and group I “partnered” with in “multi-level marketing*.”
Naturally, I was ecstatic to knock on Julie Anderson’s hotel room door and finally meet her in real life. Julie was the first activist I had reached out to, as I was afraid to follow any anti-MLM creators until I had fully cut ties. I credit Julie for the strength I eventually acquired to leave and speak out. She never monetized her content, though she easily could have, with 219K TikTok followers and 5.5K YouTube subscribers. And not that Julie needs me virtue signalling on her behalf, especially as “MLM“ (in my firm opinion) is essentially legalized labour trafficking, and people should be compensated fairly for their work; I think her boundary with her refusal to monetize her content just speaks to her intentions not to turn her advocacy into a career. When I met Julie in real life last weekend, there were hugs and laughs, of course, but her distress and burnout were palpable. Even though Julie, proudly of the Gen X “fuck around and find out” variety, comes across as unwavering and strong in her commitment to outing these popular scams, she’s now at her breaking point after being harassed and threatened relentlessly by rich, powerful, and conscious-lacking CEOs and their flying monkeys. I felt terrible that Julie, having flown to Washington from across Canada on her own dime, couldn’t even enjoy herself.
After Friday’s presentations, I noticed Julie had swiftly left to return to the hotel. Before getting politely asked to leave myself, I took some fun photos in front of the Office of the Attorney General’s logoed backdrop banner in a fit of giggles with my friends Meredith and Roberta as we did our best “Rachel Hollis” poses for irony.
At the same time, I worried about Julie and debated going back to check on her. Not wanting the event to end, a group left to get some drinks and enjoy a dinner out. Our event hosts met us, and I enjoyed off-the-record tales of cult-busting heroism. The stories, the food and the new inside jokes born out of bonding over such a specific type of life experience were glorious (#teamtotters). I was also confused about the spectrum of opinion and unsure where my own should land. After many gruelling years, as Marco Moukhaiber so accurately said, spent in “a form of slavery by deception, where the slaves are not only working without payment, they are actually having to pay their masters for this dubious privilege,” I wanted to feel that this moment in Washington, D.C. was a victory—a cause for celebration. So much so, I think, that I instinctually turned on the usual grateful good girl “fawn” response towards every person I met there.
Some, like the author of the most clarifying of all commercial cult advocacy books, Ponzinomics author Robert Fitzpatrick and his colleague David Brear, who blogs on “MLM The Amer“can Dream Made Nightmare,” felt viscerally angered about how the two-day conference turned out, about a simple question posed being allegedly ignored, and about the treatment of us as the survivors. In Julie Anderson’s speech she aptly noted:
“According to the FTC website, consumers should ‘do their homework’ and search online for the name of the company and words like ‘review’, ‘scam’ or ‘complaint’. Who is creating this content which the FTC refers to? MLM victims do. As in MLM, the FTC uses the victims to do their work for them.”
She is not wrong.
I had fun at the conference.
And felt guilty about it (which is no one’s fault, it just is).
I felt like I was heard, and I felt grateful to have been invited.
And part of me did feel like the academics saw me as a lesser-than spectacle.
I felt like going to Washington, D.C., to speak in such an important place was a sign that the tide was turning.
And part of me wondered if I am actually safe at all in this volunteer role I’ve found myself in.
I wanted to know who was going to help Julie, or Marco who had to leave Canada due to the extent of fair-gaming he’s been subject to. Fortunately, my new friend Elaine, whom I met in D.C. has the resources to go to law school and become a lawyer after being sued by a “multi-level marketing” company. Obviously, most of us are not in a position to represent ourselves should a lawsuit come our way, but we speak out for our mental health to mitigate the moral injury from having been part of “The Big Lie” and, quite simply, because it feels like there is no other option. That’s kind of how it goes when you are a person who wants to help people. I wanted Julie to run up to these lawyers and the representatives from the FTC and say, “What can you do to protect me?” but she did not. Then I wanted to do it on her behalf, except the vibe from these people was pure nihilism. I could see why she chose to peace out.
I am sad, I am really fucking sad, that my friend has hit a wall like this. She has helped so many people, like me, who felt validated and vindicated by her research and activism.
I asked Roberta Blevins what she thought, and she framed it as her activism and advocacy work as complementing one another but effectively functioning differently. Roberta said that as an activist, there are certain lines you must tow to access the channels that can amplify our message. However, as an advocate, she can say what she wants in her space, on social media, and on her podcast. Roberta created a behind-the-scenes episode about the (Anti) MLM Conference, which I loved listening to as a morale booster.
To summarize my experience, I left the (Anti) MLM Conference feeling full, and feeling inspired, and also feeling sad and really confused. I needed to reckon with all of these feelings through writing—not wanting to forget any of the joy, the nuance and the frustration. One of my biggest takeaways is that when it comes down to it, it isn’t going to be the government that prevents these companies from defrauding people. It really is the social media activists educating the general public so that people know what they are looking at regarding coercive control. Grassroots education is what will effectively turn the tide more than anything regulators are going to be willing or able to do. One of the FTC lawyers even advised us to “write Op-Eds” at the conclusion of the conference. Our best hope for beginning to flip the pyramid is to make this knowledge mainstream and to keep going because these companies will keep pivoting and re-naming the scams. Hello, “high-ticket sales” and “social selling,” I see you.
If you have left a commercial cult or any form of legalized labour trafficking, you might be craving community and a place to process among those who understand why you stayed so long or why you kept joining new companies, hoping for something different. On May 28th, I will be hosting a free Writing to Reckon with Gerette, just like the one I attended in 2022. You don’t have to particularly even love writing to attend. We will provide prompts for you to reflect on your experience with clarity. I hope to work with others to create a “Flipping the Pyramid” fund, where together we can raise awareness and funds to help whistleblowers and those who have been financially devastated by these commercial cults. Stay tuned, and reach out if you would like to help.
*I put the term “multi-level marketing” in quotations because of the impact made on me by Marco Moukhaiber’s presentation on Double-Speak. Marco quite impactfully expressed that it is not a business but legalized fraud. When saying the FTC is attempting to better regulate multi-level marketing, the notion can audibly fly. But when calling a spade a spade, the idea no longer makes any sense. You can regulate fraud as well as you can regulate murder. It really, actually isn’t possible.